The Akatsuki Field Trip
by xxTwisted Dark Dreamsxx
Summary: Simple. The Akatsuki go to a field trip, to a zoo. A weight load of crap turned into 1594 words. Crackfic...sorta


Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto...or Kagome

Note: In any of my Akatsuki stories, Kagome and/or Inu-Yasha will be in the organization. Kagome will always be a neko hanyou. It's something from my role-playing game.

* * *

The Akatsuki members grumbled and sighed and complained as they stood tiredly in the room that had the giant freaky hands in them.

The leader had called them in for a meeting.

At 6:00 in the morning.

"Why did he call us this early?" Kisame asked, putting a hand over his mouth to stifle a yawn.

"It must be pretty imporant," Kagome mumbled tiredly, her eyes drooping. Since it was in a cat's nature to sleep daily, 6:00 was waaaay to early for Kagome.

Hell, 12:00 in the afternoon was too early.

"It better be, un," Deidara grumbled. He was pretty grumpy in the morning. Ecspecially since he didn't get a chance to comb his hair. His blonde locks were all over the place in a big messy pile. His remaining hand was always somehow chewing on his hair while he was sleeping...

"It is."

The Akatsuki members turned to see their Leader standing in front of them. He was...

...smiling.

Kakazu swallowed hard.

"Are we in trouble or something?" the masked man asked nervously.

"No!" Leader answered, waving his hands about. "I just wanted to announce something!"

The members waited.

"We're going on a field trip!"

The members gawked.

Well, except Kagome and Tobi.

"Oh yay!" they both cried in unsion, smiling brightly (well, they were under the impression that Tobi was smiling).

"Where are we going?" Kagome asked excitedly.

"To the zoo."

More cheers were heard from the cat nin and the swirly masked man. But the others were remaining silent.

"Leader-sama, why are we going to a zoo? Are any of the hosts of the junchuriiki there?" Kisame asked, twiddling with his fingers.

"No, I just feel like you all need a break," Leader replied, still smiling brightly.

He had to be drunk or something...

---

Kagome and Tobi rushed into the carrige. They had bunches of sugar running through their blood!

OK, everyone does...uh...

Shut up.

The rest followed after, letting their feet drag across the ground. They all plopped down into the carrige, followed by Leader.

"C'mon, Itachi-kun!" Kagome cried, tugging at the Uchiha's sleeve. "Lighten up! This'll be fun!" Itachi looked down at her. Usually, he would've used Magenkyo Sharingan on anyone that did that to him, but...secretly...he likes Kagome. So he just nodded and looked away from her. Kisame snorted.

"Oh, this'll be so boring!" he muttered soft enough so Leader wouldn't be able to hear him. "And you're preppyness is annoying me." Kagome glared daggers at him.

"Oh shut up fishface You do know that cats like to_ eat _fish.."

There was pretty much silence after that.

---

"We're here!" Leader announced, jumping out of the carrige. Kagome and Tobi continued to cheer. The rest continued to mope.

Leader turned to his organization. "So, you guys can all split up. We'll meet back here at five o'clock."

"OK!" Tobi said as Leader turned and left. Kagome turned around to face the others.

"Where do you guys wanna go first?" No one answer-

"That sea place."

Kagome blinked at Kisame and craned her head to see where the shark nin was pointing at. "OK."

So...off to Seaworld!

---

Kisame stared at the shark. The shark stared back at Kisame.

"They're so mean! Keeping these poor sharks all locked up inside there, it's just so rude! I mean, they should be free-"

The rest of the team fell asleep as Kisame continued his 15-minute long speech. Well, only Itachi, Kagome, and Tobi were left. Kakazu, Hidan, and Deidara fled before they fell asleep from boredom.

"I know!" Kisame suddenly shouted, waking up the others. He reached back for his sword and drew it. "I shall free them!"

Kagome immediately knew what he was going to do. "Oh, wait no fishface!"

But it was too late.

Kisame swung his massive sword at the glass, breaking it instantly.

"What's going o-blurrrrrrgh!!" Tobi didn't get to finish his sentence. Water splashed over him and swept him away. Kagome inwardly growled at Kisame. 'He's so STUPID!' She stopped before she thought off a horrible f word when Itachi grabbed her by the waist and pulled her up to surface. They watched as Kisame rode one of the sharks out of Seaworld, the other sharks following after.

"START THE REBELLION! WOOO!!!"

Kagome managed to growl outwardly. "God he's stupid."

Itachi couldn't help but agree.

---

Kisame got kicked out of the zoo. Somehow, the sharks managed to get to the beach that was near the zoo and into the ocean. Kagome and Itachi managed to find Tobi- he got washed up into the monkey's cage. He was hanging off a tree. Then they found Hidan lying near Seaworld, soaked. He said that Jashin was trying to smit him with a flood because he didn't kill enough people in time. He wouldn't believe the real truth.

Deciding to skip seaworld, they decided to go to the reptile exibhit. None of the people in their group would try to free this guys. But Hidan...

"Why can't I use any of these aninals as a sacifice?" he asked for the tenth time. Kagome hissed and turned towards him.

"Because, you'll be kicked out too!" the cat nin growled, poking him in the chest. Kakazu suddenly appeared.

"Let him then."

Hidan glowered at him. "Ha ha, very funny." Then, as the group admired some giant snakes, Hidan slipped out of their sight, in search of sacrafices. He snook into one of the cages, where a bunch of frogs were. The immortal held up his pike and pushed it threatenly against a frog's throat.

"Prepare to die. You should be thankful though, you will become a sacrafice to Jashin," Hidan muttered before pushing it furthur...

"Put down the pike, NOW!"

He cringed. Busted. Hidan turned to see Kagome glowering at him. She was pointing an accussing clawed finger at him. "Don't kill any of these animals! We'll get into trouble again, and Leader-sama might cut your head off! Again."

"And I won't sew it back on," Kakazu mumbled.

Without warning, Hidan slashed at the frog. It's head rolled through the patch of other frogs. The frogs stared at it. Tobi gasped and flew to his knees, grabbing the poor frog's head, and started to weep.

"Nooo!! He was so young! Kakazu-san, can you sew it back on?" Tobi asked, looking up at the greedy man.

"No."

"C'mon already!!!" Kagome snapped, pushing Hidan out of the cage. Tobi, Kakazu, and Itachi followed after, thinking about all the madness that would've happened if they hadn't appeared.

---

"Hey, hey, look Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto yelled, suddenly stopping at a cage.

"What are we stopping for Naruto-san?" Sakura asked, looking very annoyed. Naruto pointed at the cage.

Sakura fainted at the sight of the severed frog head.

---

Meanwhile, back at the lair...

Zetsu yawned rather loudly as he got out of bed. The grass nin got up to go to the kitchen. Usually Tobi would've made breakfast by now...

Zetsu walked into the kitchen, where no good smell met his nose. His white side frowned as he dark side scowled.

"_Where is everybody_?" his white said asked, as Zetsu walked into the living room, expecting to see Kisame and Itachi watching T.V.

No one was there.

But there was a note lying on the cofee table.

Zetsu picked it up, and his black side read it.

**"Going to the Zoo. Will be back around 6:30. Love, Leader-sama." **

Zetsu stared at the note.

**"THEY LEFT WITHOUT ME DAMNIT!!"**

---

Kagome had to bite her lip and chew on it profoundly to stop herself from laughing outloud.

The baboons had gotten hold of Hidan.

After the frogs, Hidan tried to run off to find another bunch of animals to kill. He wanted to get the baboons. but, Kagome had gotten his pike and then pushed him into the cage, where the baboons grabbed him and dragged him off. They were poking and prodding at him. Kakazu was laughing his ass off.

"Get them the hell off or give me my pike!" Hidan yelled at Kagome. The cat nin grinned slyishly and shook her head. Hidan grimaced.

"What's going on here?"

They all turned to see Leader. Leader peered over at Hidan.

"What's he doing with those baboons?" Leader asked reluctantly. Hidan sighed and finally managed to push them off. With that, he managed to climb out of the cage.

"Anyways," Leader continued, "it's always 5:15! I was searching for you everywhere."

"Sorry Leader-sama," Kakazu mumbled in apology. Leader sighed and led them off to the carrige.

As they arrived in the carrige and it took off, Kagome started to ponder about something.

"Why do I feel like we forgot something?"

---

Deidara sniffled as he stood at the front of the gate.

"Where'd everybody go?"

* * *

Poor Deidara. and poor Zetsu. And poor me, because this a freight load of CRAP!

Um...when it said 'Deidara's remaining hand' in my story, Kagome lost a lot of her arm, and later she found Deidara's missing arm (that he lost in a fight) and put it onto her. So...now there's another person who thinks 'art's a bang'. :3

Oh..and yeah...there's going to a million grammer/spelling mistakes. I know.


End file.
